Get all 4 Paul Harris/Help, I'm self-aware! releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Humor Your Fugue (Live at The Store, Chicago, Il, 2019), Stupid Things I Think, A Lost Thread Finds Itself, and Where was I?.
1. |
||||
I watched the sky tear clear in half made a wish on the rift it left
I watched the hopes and crops reduced to ash
Heard the optimists denial and the madmen thump their bibles
While the opportunists shake me down for cash
There's an eerie calm between the panic and the bombs
Behind every devastated set of eyes I see a joke
Me, I feel ok knowing I can't outlive my fate
No matter how much I don't drink or I don't smoke
Some folks focus on the countdown some try to put out fires
Some freaks with sticky fingers are breaking down my door
Take everything I have, take my life there's not much left
I always knew that I'd die drunk and poor
I'm sitting on the sofa I had dragged out to the roof
Just trying to finish one last pre-game and my final bag
Before I get erased by the karma or the waves
Or disintegrate in the shock from the impact
Some folks throw out their repression some head straight for the confession
The patient break the rules and the tools play nice
Well me, I cause no trouble drink until I see double
That way I can see the whole thing happen twice
Yea I've got problems but we've got bigger problems
And the drinking gets me thinking that I'm fine
Yea I've got problems but we've got bigger problems
Sometimes it helps to smile at your demise
|
||||
2. |
||||
I woke up this morning with a couple complications
Blood vessels in my eyes burst, my heart had palpitations
Had to rearrange my atoms around a broken valve
To get the blood flow to the muscles or at least to the fat
Had I taken just a second to measure my resources
I’d have lost myself to doubt I doubt I’d ever have resurfaced
This is not a problem its another sunrise toxic
This is waking up and these days it’s a process
The sheets became a noose I was trapped and I was retching
Something came loose and I was astrally projecting
Into the ether I stared down at my body lying in the dust and
My fried and filthy soul recoiled and fled in pure disgust
You put me to shame you are good at bad decisions
You can stick the landing of a freefall with precision
But I can make an impact leave a crater shatter boulders
With my bones I am a black hole and you’re a super nova
Maybe you and I are the right kind of tragic
Maybe you can’t break me because I’m just another habit
I am a disaster and you’re my favorite kind of trouble
My body is a temple please reduce the thing to rubble
I lack basic understanding of nearly everything you do but
Something’s gotta kill me and I’d like it to be you
I choose you
I choose you
I choose you
|
||||
3. |
We met like ends
02:14
|
|||
We met like ends justified by our nosey friends insistence we find someone
She shook my hands and gave my fingers a crack lifted my wallet but then brought it back
Things snowballed from there animal passion anime hair trapped by our archetype
Feelings unfair and deadlines in mind is love really fair or a label contrived
But there are weddings to attend friends to pretend so they don’t call in weeks asking us how we’ve been
I have pills to help me sleep appearances to keep and mounting obligations none of which are cheap
In a rush in a scene in a headlock she squeezed the life out of me she took my heart
She sold it on the street for a couple of bucks but she bought me a beer
Now I’m all what the fuck and why not?
She puts me down puts it out we’ve got careers to ride out and her sick sick mother who worries for her daughter’s health
Lest she has a man to save her from herself and she thinks that I fit that bill and I don’t know what she’s on about
There’s a sense there’s a scream there’s my innocence stuck with a gleaming blade and bleeding out
But my affairs are more or less in a line and you should see the size of our joint bank account
I’ve got friends to outlive, eulogies to give, and a persistent misery I’ve known since I was a kid
|
||||
4. |
Blame the Weather
02:56
|
|||
I watched you wade into the water with a smile on your face
You were dancing in the waves
Seemed like another perfect day
Then a pretty big wave came and swept you away
You drifted off into the distance and I tried to build a raft
It wasn't ship-shape it was sad
Then I thought about my dad
I was not to try and fix things, we could hire a man for that
Then I thought about your dad and how he always wished he'd had
A son
Wind picked up a little conditions worsened like they will
Waves reared up like drunkards
Sparring feelings they can't kill
With currents and the chaos you were pretty still
I abandoned my intention with that quest I couldn't hack
Drifted with the detritus
Haven't looked back
I ain't since seen my reflection but I'm sure it's looking bad
I realized a few years too late that I loved you
You realized that I didn't in a fraction of the time
If I'd have been anybody else it's a safe bet I'd have handled this better
But let's ignore my neuroses and
Blame the weather
|
||||
5. |
Go Me (I hate that guy)
02:05
|
|||
Yea the stress is killing me but it was worse when I did nothing
The loneliness suffocates but it's better than sharing a bed
But I can do better I can
I kind of have to don't I?
I can do better I can
My future is bright and blinding and filled with regret
The only thing I know for certain is one day I'll be dead
But I can do better I can
That's not saying much
I can do better I can
Better at what?
I am who I am and I'm not who I wanted to be
I like what I like and I don't like me
|
Paul Harris/Help, I'm self-aware! Chicago, Illinois
Paul Harris is uncomfortable writing about himself in third person. He's uncomfortable writing about himself in general,
really.
You'd think, given the sheer number of social media outlets, job applications, and dating sites for which he has had to fill out similar descriptions over the years, he would have grown accustomed to the process or drafted some kind of form bio by now. No such luck.
... more
Contact Paul Harris/Help, I'm self-aware!
Streaming and Download help
If you like Paul Harris/Help, I'm self-aware!, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp